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I know what it is you really want, and it's neither reams of statistical analysis nor carefully articulated arguments. It's a list of player names, sorted by position and grouped by likely outcome.

My tiers, in other words.

Tiers, for those who don't know, signal where the biggest drop-offs are at a position so that you can determine the most optimal time to draft said position. Players whose impact is essentially the same are bundled together, revealing at a glance how many alike choices remain. With every position's tiers in hand, you can know during the heat of the draft which position to target next by identifying the one whose active tier is closest to depletion.

And now, every position's tiers can be in hand literally, provided you have a printer. This link will take you to a one-page document perfectly formatted for printing. Click on it and have all your wildest dreams come true.

As for those of us who prefer to stick to screens ...

Catcher

The Elite: William Contreras
The Near-Elite: Adley Rutschman
The Next-Best Things: Yainer Diaz, Salvador Perez, Cal Raleigh, Willson Contreras, Will Smith, J.T. Realmuto
The Fallback Options: Shea Langeliers
The Last Resorts: Logan O'Hoppe, Gabriel Moreno, Austin Wells, Ivan Herrera, Tyler Stephenson, Sean Murphy, Joey Bart, Ryan Jeffers, Keibert Ruiz†
The Leftovers: Connor Wong, Alejandro Kirk, Bo Naylor, Francisco Alvarez, Drake Baldwin, Travis d'Arnaud, Jonah Heim, Danny Jansen, Miguel Amaya, Patrick Bailey, Hunter Goodman, Mitch Garver, Freddy Fermin, Luis Campusano, Dalton Rushing, Pedro Pages, Kyle Teel, David Fry

First base

The First-Rounders: Vladimir Guerrero
The Elite: Bryce Harper, Freddie Freeman
The Near-Elite: Matt Olson, Pete Alonso
The Next-Best Things: Cody Bellinger, Josh Naylor, Christian Walker, Salvador Perez, Vinnie Pasquantino, Triston Casas, Jake Burger^
The Fallback Options: Spencer Steer, Michael Toglia, Luis Arraez, Ryan Mountcastle^, Rhys Hoskins
The Last Resorts: Paul Goldschmidt
The Leftovers: Michael Busch, Christian Encarnacion-Strand, Jonathan Aranda, (Kyle Manzardo), Jake Cronenworth, Yandy Diaz, Nate Lowe, Tyler Soderstrom, Spencer Torkelson, Andrew Vaughn, Luke Raley, Ben Rice, Jeimer Candelario, Carlos Santana, Josh Bell, Nolan Schanuel, Ty France, Ryan O'Hearn, Spencer Horwitz, LaMonte Wade, (Matt Mervis)

Second base

The Elite: Ketel Marte
The Near-Elite: Jose Altuve, Ozzie Albies
The Next-Best Things: Marcus Semien, Jordan Westburg
The Fallback Options: Luis Garcia, Nico Hoerner, Xander Bogaerts, Brice Turang, Brandon Lowe, Jackson Holliday, Jonathan India†, Andres Gimenez^, Bryson Stott^, Luis Arraez
The Last Resorts: Kristian Campbell, Luis Rengifo
The Leftovers: Zack Gelof, Jake Cronenworth, Maikel Garcia, Brendan Donovan, Gleyber Torres, Colt Keith, Christopher Morel, Willi Castro, David Hamilton, Nolan Gorman, Caleb Durbin, Jose Caballero, Gavin Lux, Thairo Estrada, Jeff McNeil, Christian Moore, Michael Massey, Otto Lopez, Dylan Moore, Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Brandon Drury, Hye Seong Kim, Spencer Horwitz

Third base

The First-Rounders: Jose Ramirez
The Elite: Jazz Chisholm, Austin RIley, Rafael Devers, Manny Machado
The Near-Elite: Alex Bregman†
The Next-Best Things: Jordan Westburg, Junior Caminero, Matt Chapman, Mark Vientos, Isaac Paredes, Jake Burger^
The Fallback Options: Alec Bohm, Eugenio Suarez, Max Muncy, Matt Shaw, Royce Lewis
The Last Resorts: Nolan Arenado, Josh Jung, Luis Rengifo, Cam Smith
The Leftovers: Connor Norby, Ryan McMahon, Maikel Garcia, Jeimer Candelario, Christopher Morel, Willi Castro, Joseph Ortiz, Brett Baty, Ke'Bryan Hayes, Josh H. Smith, Jose Caballero, Coby Mayo, Jace Jung, Noelvi Marte, Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Dylan Moore, Ernie Clement, Yoan Moncada, Jose Miranda, Paul DeJong, Matt Vierling

Shortstop

The First-Rounders: Bobby Witt, Gunnar Henderson, Elly De La Cruz^, Mookie Betts, Francisco Lindor
The Elite: Trea Turner, Corey Seager†
The Near-Elite: C.J. Abrams^
The Next-Best Things: Oneil Cruz, Bo Bichette, Willy Adames, Matt McLain
The Fallback Options: Xavier Edwards, Xander Bogaerts, Carlos Correa, Dansby Swanson
The Last Resorts: Masyn Winn, Anthony Volpe, Ezequiel Tovar, Jeremy Pena, Zachary Neto, Ceddanne Rafaela^
The Leftovers: Trevor Story, Tyler Fitzgerald, Willi Castro, David Hamilton, Jacob Wilson, Josh H. Smith, Jose Caballero, Brooks Lee, Ha-seong Kim, Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Dylan Moore, Ernie Clement Jordan Lawlar, Paul DeJong, Luisangel Acuna

Outfield

The First-Rounders: (Shohei Ohtani), Aaron Judge, Juan Soto, Kyle Tucker, Mookie Betts, Corbin Carroll, Jackson Chourio, Yordan Alvarez, Fernando Tatis, Julio Rodriguez^
The Elite: Jarren Duran, Jazz Chisholm, Jackson Merrill
The Near-Elite: Ronald Acuna, (Kyle Schwarber), (Marcell Ozuna), Wyatt Langford, James Wood
The Next-Best Things: Oneil Cruz, Teoscar Hernandez, (Brent Rooker), Michael Harris, Lawrence Butler, Anthony Santander, Cody Bellinger, Christian Yelich, Luis Robert, Mike Trout, Seiya Suzuki, Dylan Crews, Bryan Reynolds, Brenton Doyle^, Ian Happ, Riley Greene, Brandon Nimmo, Jurickson Profar, Steven Kwan
The Fallback Options: Randy Arozarena, Jasson Dominguez, Pete Crow-Armstrong, Joshua Lowe, Victor Robles, Cedric Mullins, Adolis Garcia, Spencer Steer, Tyler O'Neill, Colton Cowser, Lane Thomas, Nick Castellanos
The Last Resorts: Byron Buxton, Heliot Ramos, George Springer, Tommy Edman, Michael Conforto, TJ Friedl, Jorge Soler, Lourdes Gurriel, Kerry Carpenter, Taylor Ward, Ceddanne Rafaela^, Alec Burleson, Nolan Jones, Evan Carter, Lars Nootbaar, Roman Anthony, Matt Wallner^, Jake McCarthy^, Jung Hoo Lee†
The Leftovers: Brendan Donovan, Jordan Walker, Parker Meadows, Wilyer Abreu, J.J. Bleday, Willi Castro, Jo Adell, (Joc Pederson), Andy Pages, Garrett Mitchell, Max Kepler, Austin Hays, Luke Raley, Daulton Varsho, Jesus Sanchez, Victor Scott, Zac Veen, Alan Roden, Jacob Young, (Giancarlo Stanton), Trevor Larnach, Brandon Marsh, Sal Frelick, Pavin Smith, Heston Kjerstad, Jonny DeLuca, MJ Melendez, Starling Marte, Jeff McNeil, (Masataka Yoshida), Kris Bryant, Tommy Pham, Ryan O'Hearn, Dylan Moore, Leody Taveras, Jake Fraley, Matt Vierling, Andrew Benintendi

Starting pitcher

The Elite: Tarik Skubal, Paul Skenes, Zack Wheeler
The Near-Elite: Corbin Burnes, Chris Sale, Logan Gilbert, Cole Ragans, Garrett Crochet, Dylan Cease, Blake Snell^
Start of Good Glob: Framber Valdez, Michael King, Shota Imanaga, Yoshinobu Yamamoto, Jacob deGrom, Tyler Glasnow, Bryce Miller, Bailey Ober, Pablo Lopez, Aaron Nola, Max Fried, Logan Webb, Spencer Strider, Spencer Schwellenbach
End of Good Glob: Justin Steele, Hunter Greene, George Kirby, Luis Castillo, Joe Ryan, Sonny Gray, Hunter Brown, Zac Gallen, Roki Sasaki, Bryan Woo, Tanner Bibee, Freddy Peralta, Robbie Ray, Jack Flaherty, Carlos Rodon, Gavin Williams, Cristopher Sanchez, Seth Lugo, Clay Holmes*
The Fallback Options: Kodai Senga, Reynaldo Lopez, Yusei Kikuchi, Sandy Alcantara, Nick Pivetta, Spencer Arrighetti, Kevin Gausman, MacKenzie Gore, Nick Lodolo, Grayson Rodriguez, Shane McClanahan, Jared Jones, Sean Manaea, Shohei Ohtani, Nathan Eovaldi, Zach Eflin, Jose Berrios, Ronel Blanco, Ryan Pepiot, Jesus Luzardo, Walker Buehler, Taj Bradley, Reese Olson, Grant Holmes*, Bowden Francis*, Kris Bubic*, Nick Martinez*, Tomoyuki Sugano, Hayden Birdsong
The Last Resorts: Shane Baz, Tanner Houck, Jackson Jobe*, Max Scherzer, Brandon Pfaadt, Mike Soroka*, Drew Rasmussen*, Justin Verlander, Yu Darvish, Brandon Woodruff, Dustin May, Jose Soriano, Clarke Schmidt, Richard Fitts, Jeffrey Springs, Michael Wacha, Nestor Cortes, Mitch Keller, Chris Bassitt, Ranger Suarez, Luis Severino, Chris Paddack, Jack Leiter, Kumar Rocker, Casey Mize, Max Meyer
The Leftovers: Cody Bradford, Merrill Kelly, Kutter Crawford, Brady Singer, Jameson Taillon, Erick Fedde, Zebby Matthews, Ryan Weathers, Cade Povic, Reid Detmers, Matthew Boyd, David Peterson, Tyler Mahle, Griffin Canning, Tylor Megill, David Festa, Davidjohn Herz, Lucas Giolito, Tobias Myers, Ryne Nelson, Clayton Kershaw, Charlie Morton, Brayan Bello, Eduardo Rodriguez, Andrew Painter, Bubba Chandler, Quinn Mathews, Triston McKenzie, Edward Cabrera, Andrew Abbott, Kyle Harrison, Luis Garcia, Shane Bieber, Eury Perez, Bobby Miller, Luis Gil, Osvaldo Bido, Zack Littell, Kyle Hart, Will Warren, Andrew Heaney, Shane Smith*, Luis Ortiz*, Andre Pallante, Dean Kremer, Jake Irvin, Frankie Montas, Jose Quintana, Albert Suarez, Hayden Wesneski*, JP Sears, Carlos Carrasco, Kyle Gibson, Jon Gray, Aaron Civale, Lance Lynn, Marcus Stroman, Yariel Rodriguez, Rhett Lowder

Relief pitcher

The Elite: Emmanuel Clase, Devin Williams, Josh Hader, Edwin Diaz
The Near-Elite: Ryan Helsley, Raisel Iglesias, Mason Miller, Ryan Walker, Felix Bautista, Andres Munoz
The Next-Best Things: Jhoan Duran, Jeff Hoffman, Tanner Scott, Robert Suarez, Trevor Megill, Jordan Romano
The Fallback Options: Pete Fairbanks, Ryan Pressly, Kenley Jansen, Lucas Erceg, Kyle Finnegan
The Last Resorts: David Bednar, Alexis Diaz, Justin Martinez, A.J. Puk, Jason Foley, Calvin Faucher, Aroldis Chapman, Carlos Estevez, Chris Martin, Mike Clevinger, Tyler Kinley
The Next-in-Line: Kirby Yates, Porter Hodge, Edwin Uceta, Griffin Jax, Liam Hendriks, Ben Joyce, Jesus Tinoco, Seth Halvorsen, Robert Garcia, David Robertson, Victor Vodnik

^:one tier lower in points leagues | †: one tier lower in categories leagues | *:RP-eligible | ( ): DH-only